Surgery Tomorrow

Well, tomorrow is the big day. When we first decided to do the hysterectomy, I wasn't nervous at all, just excited to get it over with. But the closer I get to surgery, the more nervous I become, because it is such a major surgery. Also, the doctor isn't quite sure what kind of incision he is going to have to make, and he won't know until he gets in there. We are hoping to do it laparoscopically, where he will make three smaller incisions, but there might be too much scar tissue from my two c-sections to do it that way. If that's the case, he will have to make a full abdominal incision, and the recovery will be just like a c-section. Yuck. I think not knowing exactly what is going to happen is making my anxiety worse. I am dreading sleeping in a hospital bed, getting woken up several times a night for vitals, pain, and not being with my family. But I am excited for no more bleeding, no more pain in the future, and a chance to get a nap! I would trade several weeks of discomfort for a lifetime of freedom any day of the week!

This might sound silly, but getting a hysterectomy is a little bit sad to me. My uterus has played a really important role in my life! My babies grew in there! And even though I have four kids, it's also a little sad that there is no way that I will ever be able to have any more babies. (Scott, don't have a heart attack!) We had made the decision that we were done after the twins, but really finalizing it is crazy. Bittersweet.

Anyway, I will update you all when I am home and coherent. I'm not sure how long I will be in the hospital; it depends on what happens with the incision. Pray that Scott doesn't go crazy alone here with all 4 kids!

Oh yes, I almost forgot. I pulled the best/worst April Fool's joke on Scott this morning. I called him "crying" and said that the hospital had called and cancelled my surgery because they got my pre-op bloodwork back and my pregnancy test was positive. I thought he was going to cry. When he finally figured it out, he said, "You have no idea how many emotions I just went through!" And then he called me some names. It was great.